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Your Attachment Style
Anxious-Preoccupied
You crave deep connection but worry it might slip away.
You crave closeness and worry about losing it. You're highly attuned to your partner's moods and fear that you care more than they do.
Your Dimensions
High
Anxiety
Low
Avoidance
About ~20% of adults of people have this style
Why You Got This Style
- •You scored high on Anxiety but low on Avoidance
- •This means you deeply want closeness but fear abandonment
- •You may have had caregivers who were inconsistently available
- •This created a hypervigilance around relationship security
Core Beliefs
- “I'm not enough — or too much
- “I need to work hard to earn love
- “Others might leave me
- “If I don't stay vigilant, bad things will happen
Strengths
- +Deeply caring and attentive to partner's needs
- +Highly in tune with emotional dynamics
- +Values relationships and willing to work on them
- +Emotionally expressive and warm
- +Loyal and committed when secure
Watch Out For
- !Anxiety can become a self-fulfilling prophecy
- !May push partners away with intensity
- !Difficulty trusting partner's love is real
- !Can lose sense of self in relationships
- !May tolerate poor treatment to avoid being alone
Common Triggers
- ⚡Partner being distant or unavailable
- ⚡Delayed text responses
- ⚡Partner needing alone time
- ⚡Any perceived rejection or criticism
- ⚡Uncertainty about relationship status
In Relationships
You're the one who reaches out, checks in, and keeps the connection alive. But when anxiety spikes, you may seek reassurance in ways that push your partner away — creating the exact distance you fear.
Common Patterns
- →Highly attuned to partner's moods and small changes
- →May sacrifice own needs to maintain connection
- →Seeks frequent reassurance and validation
- →Can become anxious when partner seems distant
What You Need
- ✓Learning to self-soothe instead of seeking external reassurance
- ✓Building independent self-worth outside relationships
- ✓Understanding that your anxiety is about YOU, not the relationship
- ✓A patient partner who offers consistent reassurance
- ✓Recognizing protest behaviors before acting on them
Path to Earned Security
Your path to earned security involves building a stronger relationship with yourself. When you can comfort your own anxiety, you won't need your partner to constantly prove their love.
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