Your Attachment Style
Dismissive-Avoidant
You value your independence—sometimes at the cost of deeper intimacy.
You value your independence highly and may feel uncomfortable when relationships get too close. You're self-reliant — sometimes to a fault.
Your Dimensions
About ~25% of adults of people have this style
Why You Got This Style
- •You scored low on Anxiety but high on Avoidance
- •This means you're not particularly worried about rejection
- •But you're uncomfortable with too much closeness or dependency
- •You may have learned early that emotional needs aren't met, so you suppress them
Core Beliefs
- “I don't need anyone
- “Independence is strength
- “Emotions are weakness
- “Relying on others leads to disappointment
Strengths
- +Highly self-sufficient
- +Calm under pressure
- +Clear personal boundaries
- +Don't get swept up in drama
- +Often successful professionally
- +Emotionally stable on the surface
Watch Out For
- !Partners feel shut out and disconnected
- !May not recognize your own loneliness
- !Difficulty with long-term emotional intimacy
- !Can appear cold or uncaring (even when you're not)
- !May sabotage relationships when they get serious
Common Triggers
- ⚡Partner wanting 'too much' closeness
- ⚡Emotional conversations
- ⚡Partner expressing needs or demands
- ⚡Feeling controlled or pressured
- ⚡Relationship milestones (moving in, marriage talk)
In Relationships
You keep partners at arm's length, often without realizing it. When things get too intimate, you pull away — staying busy, becoming critical, or shutting down emotionally. The irony: you DO have attachment needs. You've just learned to suppress them.
Common Patterns
- →Values independence and self-reliance highly
- →May pull away when relationships get too intense
- →Tends to downplay importance of romantic relationships
- →Often attracted to partners who want more closeness
What You Need
- ✓Recognizing that avoidance is a protective strategy, not a preference
- ✓Understanding you DO have attachment needs (everyone does)
- ✓Learning to tolerate emotional intimacy gradually
- ✓A partner who gives space without pursuing
- ✓Self-compassion for your own vulnerability
Path to Earned Security
Your path to security involves slowly letting people in. Start small: share one vulnerable thing. Notice that closeness doesn't destroy you. Build evidence that connection can be safe.
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